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Hello and welcome back to the neuro transmitters, a podcast about everything related to clinical neurology with the goal of reducing your, your a phobia. I'm your host, Dr Michael Ken Trees. And today we're talking with Kristen Biel about spinal cord injuries. Kristen is an author, illustrator and literary scout for Morgan James publishing and an avid athlete participating in marathons and national, competing in wheelchair fencing. Kristen. Thank you so much for joining us today. And would you mind giving us a little bit of you your back story for our listeners? Yeah. So I'll start off with my story of tragedy and then I'll bring it back into how you in today, which is the complete opposite. Um So 17 years ago in 2005, I was hit by just, I was 14 years old. Um about to turn 15, about to start my sophomore year of high school. Um, and I went on the last weekend before my, the start of my sophomore year, I went to Lake Gas in with three of my friends. Um, one that I had a really big crush on, you know, that it was a, it was a fun weekend. And on the last day of the weekend, the guy that I had a really big crush on was driving another jet ski from mine and he ran up into, and on top of me and my, my friend who was, the driver killed, the driver instantly supposed to kill me. Um, they told my parents were not, she's not going to breathe or talk or swallow or she'll be a vegetable, all this stuff. I got a traumatic brain in injury and I had spinal cord injury, my T eight vertebrae and they said, you know, she's not going to wake up. So skipping forward a little bit. I did wake up here. I am. Um I moved to hospital infection in Virginia, which is my home home city and I started to, I woke up and I started really learning how to live my life, how to do everything from brushing my teeth to sitting up in my chair and getting dressed all that stuff. Um And I, let's see, skipping through a lot of pain and struggle. I made it I'm good and I have a T eight spinal cord injury, like I said, I'm gonna complete injury so that no feeling and no sensation below my injury level and my right hand, it was the left side brain injury. So my right hand is a little bit slower. My circulation is a little bit worse, not that big of a deal. Um So I get out of the hospital, they tell my parents and me at that point that um she can do all that stuff that we said she's not going to be able to do. That's a miracle, but she's never gonna move her field, the lower injury level again, which again, it's mid torso. And to me that meant no more sports. No more running around, no more feeling the grass on the bottom of my feet, no more getting around with my city with these. Um, and as a now 15 year old, I had my birthday in the hospital now 15 year old that completely broke me because that flipped my world completely upside down. So I worked, I started working two weeks out of hospital. I went to California. I started working to prove them wrong on that. And I was, um, working out four hours a day, five days a week for a month and a half came back. I can wiggle my toes that's moving from complete incomplete injury. I've been back there nine times. I've gotten stem cells in Dominican Republic. Um, and I've just kind of never given up on doing all the good things for my body and my mind and my health. Um, and I, um, and I can move a lot, feel a lot and I can, you know, walk with a walker, I can crawl, I can do all this stuff. Um, do all these awesome things like my bladder sensation is starting to come back a little bit, you know, 17 years later, which is something that the doctor said, you know, you got one year after that one year, you're not going to get anything back again. Um, so it's just been kind of almost two decades of like proving wrong and never giving up and working on myself in my body and my happiness to get where I am and I can get to what I've been doing in the meantime to um and it's just, it's just, it just goes to show that the doctor, I mean, bless their hearts. They told me the worst case scenario, but they just gave me no hope and they just like kind of talked very down on what your life is going to be and what you're not gonna be able to do. And it was just kind of negative and can't, can't, can't. Um And that thank goodness, didn't break me down. But that's kind of the thing that I always worked for every day to say you're wrong. Like I said, just before we started recording, you know, that is one of the things that we, we kind of fall into the trap and especially in the in hospital setting where things are very fresh and new. We, it's, it's really challenging. I'm on a regular basis. I'm asked to come and prognosticate after just a few days after someone's had like a traumatic brain injury or a stroke or cardiac arrest and all these, all these terrible situations where most of the time things don't go so well. But that's always, these are the cases that kind of keep you up at nights. Like was I was, I too hasty in, in saying what I said and that's always the thing, right. We, we think about statistics, you know, statistically it's a, you know, 90%. Well, that means there's 10% that that might do well. So it's important for us, I think in, in the healthcare field to, to not negate those, those not insignificant numbers of people. But yeah, I mean, seeing that kind of recovery especially going from, like you said, like a T eight spinal cord injury and then starting to get some feeling and movement back there. That as you said, like after a year, a lot of times you kind of expect neurologic recovery from a lot of ideologies kind of plateau. I know you said you've like tried and done a lot of different things. What kind of activities or therapies do you? Do you attribute any one thing to kind of let I would say somewhat remarkable improvement. Um No, I don't, but there are a couple things I could boil it down to. Um I, so starting with California that, that trip I took after I got out I made working out in my life. Um at the time 2005 adaptive sports weren't really popular. No one really knew about it. So, it's just kind of, I said I was coming from before I got hurt. I was captain on my lacrosse team, field hockey and competition, cheerleading. So I was very active. Um, and so I, then I got, then I was paralyzed and I said I just lost it all. I can't do sports, you know, what am I going to do? So, I turned, working out into my hobby and I made that my life for a couple of years, especially. Um, and with that, the thing that goes with that is eating right, taking care of my body, taking care of my mind, making sure I'm, I'm in control of everything that I can be in control of so I can regain control of, you know, a lower body. Um And so I would, I would attribute it to moving and working out and, you know, moving around. And then, so when in 2000, let's see, I think seven, I did my first adaptive sport, which is skiing. And since then I have tried 16 adaptive sports. I've done 16 marathons on a hand cycle. I've, um competed nationally in wheelchair fencing. I just kind of, I've found, I rediscuss one of my passions and my love for sports in the disabled version, which in my opinion, adaptive sports are more fun than normal sports. Um, turn both and I can say that adaptive sports a lot more fun um, they're more challenging but they just looked different and they're cooler and anyway, um, so it's so it's just constantly working on myself and making sure that I'm taking care of myself physically and, um, emotionally and making sure I'm happy I'm getting all the things I need. Um, that includes, includes protein and that includes like a break. You know, it's advanced the whole of distance. So it's making myself number one, that's how I'm able to be the extremely happy person. I am. Uh That's awesome. Uh You've written a couple of 33 books. My fourth is coming out in February. Awesome. But yeah, I mean, uh I apologize. I didn't have time from the time we uh initiated contact now to read through them, but I have read through like a lot of a lot of your blog posts and so forth and you do seem to approach everything with almost a impossibly positive outlook. How, how important has that, that mental health aspect been to you in your recovery and kind of going forward from there. I was gonna say exhausting exhaustingly because it's, but that's key, that's key to get me to where I am now and going forward. And there's, you know, a new challenge. I'm not saying everything because my life isn't that hard. But ok, there's a new challenge all the time. And so it's so it's things that have a trip, contribute to that one first and foremost is a faith in God. I woke up and my parents and my close friends were all surrounding me saying this is what happened. Like this is what they said you weren't going to be able to do, you know, breathing, swallow all that stuff. Um And this and like, look at you now and you can hardly move your right hand and you can't move your legs and like, you know, things are tough that eventually got better. But, but you know, look at, look at what you can do. And this is kind of using comparison in a good way, which comparison is very rarely a good thing. But anyway, so using my faith in God is first and foremost surrounding myself with people who support me, um who support my dreams. Um However crazy, that could be my first marathon in 2011, for example, 2011 was New York marathon. Um Two weeks before the marathon, I received a hand cycle and I was like, I don't know how long a marathon is and like, I've never written this life before, but the New York and so it's having people around maybe that's kind of a crazy example. But having my parents around me who are just like she's going to try it and she's gonna do it. I'm like, let's give this a shot. Um And just again, comparison, seeing which, you know, may or may not be good advice, but looking at, looking at like this is what could have been and this is how I am now. Like, let's focus on the good things that I have that I have instead of getting all this, I mean, getting all caught up in what I can't do because that's a total waste of time. I, when I woke up from my coma after my accident, I was told um your friend died, first of all, and your other friend hit you and you know, just gonna be with them paying attention. He was looking elsewhere. So hit you with this Betsy. And a lot of people ask me like, how did you feel? Were you angry? Were you like upset? Were you, you know, angry first and foremost and no, it wasn't for a couple of reasons. One, my faith in God, I see he made a mistake. He's sorry for it. Um He didn't say sorry but I assume assume be sorry. And, and also it's like I can sit in this, I can dwell and sit in this or I can say, hey, I'm getting out of this hospital so I can go to California and I can like try to walk again. I can try to get start getting sensation back and like it's just kind of a waste of time to sit in bad feelings, easier said than done. But just focusing on what you do have and not spending your times in a dark place. No, I think that's great advice. And in terms of, you know, obviously made it through high school, made it through, through college. How do you feel like, like this experience changed your career trajectory or kind of how you envisioned your life as, as an adult and going forward? Uh How has that played a role? Um, big time? So, I, uh, well, I couldn't really tell you what I wanted to be when I grew up, when I was a teenager. I don't really think I either, I don't remember or I didn't really proclaim like I want to be a whatever scientist. Um But I did go into college and I took a class and I start my freshman year um on feature magazine writing just like easier for January. January semester. Um not easy, but it was, it was like, I felt like I could do, it was something that so, like, I'll just have like a fun semester. Um And at the end of that semester I published my first article in a magazine which was a big deal and it's like I can do this. Um And so I changed around my majors um from actually English. I have, it was English than I realized I don't like to read um literature. I don't, you know, I don't like to read it unless I like to read it. Um And I went to Clinical Clinical Neuroscience, um clinical Psychology. Um And that's where I found my passions I found my passions in writing because I really like to right now so that I can be successful with it. But then I also that I majored in clinical psychology because I realized that I'm really interested in the brain and how it works and human behavior like differences in human anatomy. Um And I kind of combined all those and I became an author. I published my first book in 2017 and I have two more books after that and another book coming out in January. Um and I kinda combine my path, this, this book that's coming out. I combine my passions with clinical neuroscience and in writing because there's, you know, clinical neuroscience and thriller to like read thrillers to the role in one book, it's gonna be really fun. Um But I just kind of, I discovered that I have a story, I'm getting off topic. I'm sorry, I discovered that I have a story. I was given the story of my accident. Um And then I wrote about it event an easy a um it's so I thought it's not really that easy, but um it was an easier to me. Um I had this story and I started writing about it and I became an author and that kind of just changed my whole trajectory of my career and what I want to do with my life, which is the right books and share my story. Now, you've obviously piqued my interest and I would assume some of our listeners. So tell me about this Neuroscience Thriller. I, I do want to hear more about the Oh, it's so good. Um So it's called a Wide Awake. Um and you can get it on my website which you know, we'll talk about that later. Um But I'm not going to give anything away. I'm so excited about this. I have 12 inanimate objects. We have a bath towel, a pen, uh book, a mug, uh tampon and avocado. We have 12 objects and I'm giving, given them a personality, um dreams and hopes and assumptions and what kind of their experience too. So they all belong to the same person. Um And so, you know, the avocado is sent like you're going through the experience of him being cut into, you know, and then eventually something happened to be thrown away because he gets moldy. But like you, you feel you read about like how it feels for him to get brown and like get moldy. And if you're just living the experience of these objects, they all belong to the same person. Her name is Madison and she gets diagnosed with something, she gets a new diagnosis, which I'm not going to ruin it. Um So that's kind of a clinical clinical psychology going in there and then she does something in the end that makes the book a thriller. Um But it's really cool to like personify these objects that are in my everyday life. And I never think what is the experience of this mug that I'm putting tee in, um, you know, doesn't like the hot, the hot water, like what does it feel? Um, and then being able to use that imagination there and then also incorporate my psychology. Interesting. Yeah. No, that's, that's very interesting. I will have to check that out when it, when, when is that coming out? Just uh it's going to be available, books are going to be available for order off my website in February. Um And then in August, they're going to be in bookstores. Awesome. Yeah. All right. Well, I will, I will definitely keep uh include, obviously we'll talk about it at the end, but I'll include some links in the show notes as well. Thank you. Now, uh looking back a little bit uh at some of your, you know, you've been also, you know, kind of a modern renaissance woman if you will. I, I saw you've also been doing like some comic strips on Instagram as well. I remember that Instagram. Uh and a lot of it was kind of about, about dating as, as an adult woman in a wheelchair and there seems like there were a lot of challenges in that, in that arena. The same released. Yeah. So that was the second book is called Date Me. It's a comic book about dating in a wheelchair. Um What I did is I quit my job a month before my first book, Greater Things came out. And I said I'm going to be an author. Like, let's see how long this is going to last cause it's kind of too good to be true to work for myself and whatever support myself. Um So a couple of months after the better things came out, um, the money started slowing down and I said I either kind of get a job or I got to write another book. What do I do? A lot of, I know a lot about that. I can write a book and it was go on first dates specifically, terrible first dates doing, we can all relate to that. Uh And, but throw in, throw in the variable of a wheelchair. And I think that day that David gets a little bit more difficult because guys get a little bit, at least in my experience, guys just like get a little bit ruder cause they don't really know how to handle someone in a wheelchair. And I think I kind of learn that my wheelchair is a bigger deal than I thought it was the other people like to a lot of people. It's just, it's something they have to get their head around, which in my opinion, it's like I'm just sitting down like, I'm just like you, I'm just sitting down, it's not a big deal. Um But I learned when I started dating um that it's not as no brainer as I thought. So I went on 32 dates in 2.5 months, which is, I know, it's insane. It's lunch date, dinner date, you know, two different guys, four day, four days a week. Um Kind of at the point I started off saying I'm doing this because I'm dating, like for the reasons I want a relationship, I want, you know, someone. Um and it got to the point where I decided to write the book, right? The comic book. And I was saying, you know, bring it on, you know, the worst you are, the better, the better the story is, you know, kind of lost my will to um did be successful. And I was kind of searching for the story. And at that point, I said, okay, I just got to cut this off. That's why I went 32. Um not around number but um 32 days and two and five months, um lost my mind. But at the end of it, I said, I'm deleting the app. I'm never dating again. I'm off for this. I published, I went home and I would change her name to make a comic about them. And then I make up a comic about the date and then never, you know, think about, never have to think about or talk to him again if I didn't want to. So, um it was very fun and it's called dignity. And it's, it's very much like something we can all relate to, which is about hard relationships and dating. Um, but with the spin of a wheel chair. So it makes it a little bit more, um, more unique. But it's also, you can see, you can go through those dates with me and say, oh, that's like that's happened to me. Like, she's just like me, she's just in a wheelchair and there's just that little extra thing. Um So anyway, that came out, I've got in trouble if I got in trouble. I mean, like about three or four guys found out most of them I've never talked to again because, you know, it's dating app, it's easy to, you know, and again, um but I, I got caught maybe three or four times and actually I think like, I think four times and some of them work with it like, cool, I get in the comment but like a book like thanks for changing my name and one of them. Um So one of them I forgot to change his name. Okay. I was just first names. His name was, I can't Jack. Um forgot to change his name and he um he said, what the heck. All right. He bought the book and then he's, and then I bought it to him and he said, what the heck. I never talked to me again. So it was fine. Anyway, uh not a great story. So then it turned into that. Actually, it got picked up by a assault fire studio production company and they made episode one of a TV show based off the, off the comic book, an episode two is still making, trying to raise money, trying to make that happen. But episode one, if you sort of date me on youtube, you can find um someone who flew out from California across the country to play Kristen Biel. Um, and we have, I got to cast all the dates and kind of relive the experience, but it was great cause I didn't have to actually do it. My, my actress did uh date me on youtube. Yeah, I, I did watch that. It was, it was pretty good, I think, I think it's got, uh I got a lot of potential to keep going. It's certainly, you know, like you said, very relatable and it is, I guess, um kind of relating it to one of, one of your articles that I read where you're talking about like invisible versus visible disability and, and it does almost kind of, I hate to say, bring out the worst in people because when everyone, someone on the first day, right, we're bringing our best self forwards and sometimes that uglier side bubbles to the surface rather quickly. Um It seems like. Yeah. Yeah, which is unfortunate but I guess on the plus side and you didn't waste a lot of time with, with people who weren't exactly who weren't genuine. Yeah. But, but I, I understand that ultimately things did end well on the dating front. Yes. So, um, this is a story. So, I, so I was off the dating app and I was seeing this guy, like, we've been on, like, three or four days. It wasn't a big deal. I didn't like him that much but, you know, whatever. So, um, I was dating him and then at the same time I went to church, um, one day and running late to church, I always sit in the same recruiter of habit. I sit in the same spot every week. I go to the same service and one day I was running late, came into church, there was someone sitting in my seat, I'm calling in my seat. Um, he is an attractive man sitting alone. So at church. So I'm like, oh, his wife is at home or he's saving the spot next to him for his girlfriend because that just like, really happened that much. Just single, attractive minute church. Um, so anyway, I went and I sat, I sat next to him pretty much because it was next to my feet. And I think that I waited and I didn't say like you're sitting in my seat. What are you doing? He says that I see said it in the first couple of minutes of talking to him. And, uh, and anyway, we get there and then he, um, I was, I was off the, off the dating apps. Like I said, I met there and he came to a Bible study at my house that I was leaving two weeks later and, you know, we started talking and he asked me on a date and I said, I'm actually getting this other guy and so, um, sorry, like we can hang out whatever. Um And then I kind of spent more time with him through the Bible study and I realized that um dating apps just aren't for me. This guy that I was, that I was dating wasn't really for me and this guy is better and here we are three years later and we're married. Congratulations. So there's a little lessons that could be learned. I'm not saying to learn them, but I'm saying, you know, I met him at church and then I'm off the dating apps and I met them the normal way. I mean, the traditional way. But, you know, I, I tend to sympathize with you. My, my wife and I also met at a church group in college. So I, I'm biased probably. Yeah, like sometimes online online works. I don't want to say don't do it. But yes. Yes, that's fair. So, you've been married for how many years now? We got married in 21 at last year? Okay. Excellent. And your, is it, is it for me to say on this venue that you're, you're also expecting? We're having a baby? Um, four or five days after our, to your anniversary. It's amazing. Now, obviously, this is kind of a unique situation for you. Uh, compared to someone who doesn't have a spinal cord injury. Are you having to like, are you, is your, is your, oh be considering you high risk or is there any special precautions that you're having to take? So, I am high risk. Yes, they say it's because of the thyroid. But I'm like, and also I'm paralyzed like you could, you don't have to beat around the bush. But yes, I'm high risk. Um, and surprisingly, they actually gave me the choice. Do you want to have it naturally or C section? And which I don't think I can do because I can't, I don't have control to like, push a baby out, but apparently your body does. I hope this is not going to in depth. Um, but, uh, it's a medically oriented. Apparently your body does, does the work for you, which is great, but I'm doing C section because I want my bladder control the little that I have. Um, and that's, I mean, that's all I'm also delivering at 38 weeks instead of 42 because they say we'll be able to feel the contractions. I think I will be able to, but, you know, sooner the better. Um, so that's, those are the only things which I'm surprised because I thought it was gonna be a much bigger deal. But, yeah, well, I suppose you're fortunate that you, like you have said, you know, you're very attentive to your, to your health, to your nutrition, activity, all those kinds of things. So certainly creating a healthy environment for the body. Otherwise I'm being, I'm trying to be very, very careful to not like to do to be pregnant in the healthiest way possible so that I'm, of course, give birth in the healthiest way possible. But I'm watching what I eat a lot. I'm still working out. I'm still kind of going as much as my pregnancy allows doing my life is normal. Um But I do it the right way, of course. Are we all? That's amazing. Thank you. And I do find it like, how do I want to phrase it? Would you consider yourself primarily an author at this? Like self employed author? Are you, are you are doing other work as well? Um So I work as an often author is my main, my main job. Um I also have a um part time commission, basic. I shop with my publishing company. Uh when I was pitching them my third book, a Million Sons, they said, you know, of course, in your personality, the people that you talked to, would you like to come on board as an acquisition edit, er, which is just another word for literary scout. Um So the, the people that I talked to in my life because if you sit still for long enough, I'll start telling you my story and trying to tell you a book. Um very often, I kind of hear other people's stories and I'm like, oh, that, that would be a great book. You should write it down one time and now, or you should, you know, writing a book. Now, I can say if you want to, I can help you get like, submit your work and possibly get published with my company who's Morgan James publishing. Um So I work for Morgan James as an author and as a literary scout. Very cool. And I saw that again, a lot of your, I would say advocacy work has been like through the Christopher Reeve Foundation and, and things like that is that uh would you say someone maybe who's going through something similar has had a spine injury would be like a good resource to reach out to? What, what kind of things would you say? Like for someone who might be going through? Like, if you were to talk to your teenage self from years ago, what would would kind of be the recommendations in terms of how to comport yourself? Definitely, I got a couple. Um first and foremost, don't listen to anyone who tells you you can't do it or does it tell it gives you some kind of permanence like this is how you were going to be now or don't listen to them or listen to them and be motivated to prove them wrong. Um Because that is just the most limiting thing people can say, I think find doctors did, did their job and giving me worst case scenario, which it's to give someone false hope would be the wrong thing. But um if I could, if I could advise the doctors, I would say to tell, tell your person, tell your patient, this is what your body is right now. And this is maybe, maybe even like this is what's normal for people with your body. But you know, there's hope like there's hope you can do your own research. You can like figure out where the hope lies because maybe they have a liability for saying that. But, but you can say this is how it is now, but people have changed, people have improved. You know, things can always come back again. They told me the first year you're like, if you get anything back, it's going to be the first year, 15 years down the road. I'm at 17 years now, 15 years down the road, I started getting my bladder sensation back, which if you talk to almost anyone with the spinal cord injury, they say I'll take my bladder control over walking every day like easy. Um So it's amazing that I'm still getting stuff back and I'm not working out for. It was a day, five days a week later, I used to, but I'm just like, continuing to maintain my body healthy. Um So that's what, that's the advice I would give. And then number two, I would say try everything. Um try everything until you find your passion, till you find what you love. But you find something that your heart can really be in because I um both for hand cycling and for fencing, I signed up to try those just like on the fly, on the wind because why not for hand cycling? Because I wanted to do a marathon and I didn't know how long it was. I just thought it was cool to do a marathon for fencing. I did it for the story for my third book because if you look at me or if you know me or anything, you said she's not a fencer. So I'm like the softest person you'll ever meet. Um, but then like get a, get a weapon in my hand, get a sort of my hand, you know, I can win some metal. So it's, it's trying everything even though it seems very unlikely. But then, you know, I tried those two things for example and I love them and I put a big part of my life into them. So don't, don't ever listen to people telling you you can't and just try it no matter what. Now I know we touched on a little bit, you know, in terms of kind of your interactions with your health care team. But what kind of, I mean, you know, obviously there was that period in the first few months there, but in your interactions with, with people in healthcare, what kind of misconceptions, presuppositions that proved to be wrong have you encountered or kind of myths that you think need more dispelling in people who work in healthcare? Um, well, one thing I touched on is telling you, you can't do stuff and limiting you and more of, um, or less of what they told me that was wrong and more of what they didn't tell me. Um I didn't, I mean all the stuff that I've done, almost all the stuff that I've done post, post injury has been things that I, that I found out about because I researched, sort of people told me about the people that I know. Um, so it's kind of, I kind of got the feeling at least when I was in the hospital that it's kind of here's your wheelchair, like drop you off at the curb and like have a nice life. I mean, it was, it was a little bit more obviously cause they taught me how to transfer and they taught me how to do wheelies. But it's like, it's just kind of, again, it's just kind of like drop you off, like have a nice life in your chair. So it's just kind of the ability I didn't have the, the ability, the knowledge to dream beyond sitting in a chair. And, you know, all day and not really doing much except for being a wheelchair. Um, so that's giving the hope of recovery and that's giving the hope of happiness and passions. Like, hey, like you're in a wheel, maybe, maybe they could say you're in this wheelchair, you know, have a nice life. But like, you know, here are some sports or here are some resources are, here is like a mentor and a group and support and all that stuff that's asking a lot of them. But, you know, it's fine. Well, in terms of, I know, I know, you know, 2023 is different than, you know, 15 years ago in terms of thing is available on the internet and information available. Uh What role do you think that like, like in your experience, like these different advocacy organizations providing information to people who are, are new to, to being in a wheelchair, having a spinal cord injury. Um in terms of being sources of information, where, where would you recommend people reach out to? Um what kind of things have you found most useful in your experience? Um Well, very good question. I would recommend you go into the Chris really blog and certain person deal because because I realize I don't want to pat my back, but I, but I've realized what um what information is needed and what kind of hopes and my articles are all, you know, you guys listening know me well enough to know right now that, um, my articles all oriented to, like, like is great. Like, it's really fun, even though you're a wheelchair, like, here's how to be like an awesome person in a wheelchair versus like a sad clown. So, my articles are all, like, how to find happiness and how to find peace and how, what, like, things to do, you know, in your chair. So, it's, uh, I try to put, and now I'm doing a pregnancy pregnancy with discipline dis like paralyzed and pregnant. It's a series and started last month because when I got pregnant, there was nothing out there like I couldn't get anything out there. Um And then related when I searched for things on the internet of like somebody to give me hope or, you know, encouragement or something, I didn't really find anything. So I'm trying to put, put this stuff out there that I see that there's a loss of I'm not saying there's nothing but I'm just saying there's not enough. Um So blogs, the Chris free blog, there's a deal is a good start. Um But they're, if you're a youtube person there, I'm finding some, some youtube um things out there, especially for pregnancy, for being disabled and pregnant. Um which is kind of where my, all my free time on my free research goes to right now. Um But there, there are some res results there, but just not enough. That's fair. Yeah. That's why I was so curious myself, as someone who hasn't dug into that particular arena, people tend to be, people tend to be very sad and kind of pessimistic and kind of woe is me that my experience what I found. Um And so I'm with my books and with my articles and just with like podcast and just my persona who I am, I like to put a spin on it of, you know, we look different and we move around differently, like were great, like we're just people and we're just, you know, looking. So that's, that's something you also try to do with my Calm. My weekly comics is to um I have weekly comics on Instagram and newsletter. That kind of, I do topics that um make it funny because they're comics. I do topics that are relatable, kind of like dating in a wheelchair. Um but it's not all about dating but kind of relatable. So it's kind of I'm in this situation as Kristen in a wheelchair, but like I could be any other person um and kind of put a tumor spin on like because you have to kind of break the stigma by making people laugh or making people say, oh wow, me too. And that again, my experience working in neurology, you know, we see, we, we do see a lot of people with, with different types of, you know, kind of chronic problems, whether that's paralysis from a stroke or people with epilepsy, things like that. And it does seem that when someone finds out about your diagnosis, whether that's something that's readily visible or not, that it people kind of default to pitying someone. And I imagine that's probably not the, the experience. It's probably an unpleasant experience. I would, I would expect it's, it's a common response and maybe, who knows that? Maybe before I got injured and if I grew open able bodied person, I would have the same response. So I can't, because I don't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't have very many disabled people in my life. Didn't have any reason to be very exposed to disability. Um, and so it's understandable response but it's also, um, frustrating, but it's also a little bit tiresome sometimes because it's kind of like, wait, why are you saying, oh, when I'm talking about, you know, something so basic being that bad, just people say, oh, and I'm like, why do, why are you feeling bad for me? Like I'm just, you know, we all have struggles and I don't, I don't deserve, I don't deserve it whatever I deserve. But like, I don't, I don't need your pity. I don't really want your pity. I just like, treat me like your equal instead of somebody who you're just like, oh, sad. Yeah, you do that. Like saying giving me your pity is great and it's nice, whatever. But it's, you realize you don't, what you don't realize is like, in my opinion, I'm happier than you. I probably get a better life. And you're like, I'm the happiest person that I know. You never sounds like. But like I'm the happiest person that I know and like, things are going great because I make them great because I set myself up for happiness and success that my life is awesome. So why are you seeing me? It's great to have that outlook and yeah, imagine you, you know, even on my, my very low scale when you know, when I've had something bad in my own past experience and someone so like, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm like, well, why don't, don't be Yeah, you didn't have anything to do with it. It's, it's I'll be fine eventually. Um But yeah, we should always just treat people kind of the golden rule, right? The way you would like to be treated. Yeah, like my struggle that, that you feel however you feel about it is what makes me like in my opinion, a great person, like I'm a stronger person and I am so much better because of the struggle that I've gone through. So don't be sad that I went through it because it's my accident is one of the greatest thing that's ever, not the greatest, I'm so thankful for it because it just made me into the person I am today, which I'm happy with. Yeah, I mean, that's, that's an amazing outlook to have any other final thoughts for the audience. Uh things that they should know about people who have had spinal cord injuries or people who have recently undergone them that we haven't touched on yet that you think are kind of essential to making a successful life for yourself. Um Reiterating a little bit and definitely being very um cliche. But the main message I'm saying is don't give up, which is the cliche plug. But to go forward of like, don't let other people push you into giving up, don't, don't push yourself into, don't give yourself excuses so that you will give up on something and just keep going for it. Just set goal in your mind and just figure out here's what I need to do to get here and nothing's gonna stop me because this goal is something that I want and whatever you need to do to find your happiness. So just orient your whole life toward or orient. Yeah, your whole life toward just being happy and just being well in your mind and body and treating people right? And just being a good person, um simplifying it a lot, but just don't give up towards that or the goal of it. Awesome. Uh And where can people find you online? I know you're, you're all over the small number. Um Well, Chris read if you search Kristen Biel, first of all, that's my articles um to go off that Kristen biel dot com. I have three books too, books in a comic book. Um And then my fourth one coming out in February, very excited about that. I'm greater things comic on Instagram is where I have weekly comics that come out every Tuesday. Um And then to throw a little wrench in it. Um I'm actually married now. I went over that. Um So Kristen Gupta Gupt A on Instagram, that's my personal Instagram that um I would love to have anyone followed. They want to check out my life and just me blasting happy doesn't bother activity exhaustingly uh but also very real, whatever. Um so pressing capta and present dot com and you know, they're all kind of landing, landing pages for each other. So anywhere. Excellent, excellent. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me today, kind of sharing your experiences. And yeah, I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you again to Kristin for joining us today. And I can say that since the time that we have recorded this, I did go on Amazon and preorder her new book Wide Awake, which should be coming out August 15th 2023. You throw the words neuroscience and thriller together and you've got at least one sale in me if you've made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the podcast. And if so please leave a five star review on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. These really help getting the show noticed and help boost us in the algorithm. Be sure to subscribe for future episodes and you can reach me on Twitter at Drkentris. That's Dr Ken Trees or by email at the neuro transmitters podcast at gmail dot com. With any questions or show suggestions, we'll see you next time.